It’s All About Timing

Today’s episodes were ones I’d forgotten. Honestly, repressing them has to do mostly with the character Lisa, whom I find annoying; she’s so delusional.  She reminds me of so many of the Earth mother goddess women in my generation who don’t want to be on the surface, and so tried to go “deeper,” and somehow they just made "deeper" the surface. It was also hard watching today’s episode because I’m exhausted. 

In the third episode today, Timing and Space, Brenda’s father dies. It is one of my favorite episodes because there seems to be so much kindness revealed in many of the characters--especially some of the characters who seem to lack empathy. In this episode Brenda’s mother has her most genuine and loving moment as a mother in the entire series. She says, “You've never felt so much like my children before. Having your father around always took the edge off that sensation, I think. But I look at you both now, and you're both so mine. When you were little children, Bren, you used to start everything you said to us with an ‘And’ or a ‘But’. You'd say, ‘And Mom, Can we go to the store?' or 'But Dad, when we were talking before, you said’. You always started with a conjunction like that, and then Billy, when you started talking, you did the same thing. He learned that from you, Bren.  Your father used to say, living with you two was like listening to the longest sentence in the history of the universe. And now there's no one to hear it but me.” I believe it is one of Margaret's very few appealing moments. Her blatant honesty, sexuality, and unapologetic intelligence often make her unappealing. 

Also in this episode Brenda has a conversation with Nate after her father’s funeral that is still haunting me as I type. The two ex-lovers discuss what they took from their relationship with each other. It haunts me because it is a conversation I had almost down to the letter with my ex-boyfriend about a month ago. 

EXT. CLIFF EDGE - DAY

Brenda and Nate continue to talk.

BRENDA

Watching him die.

NATE

Yeah.

BRENDA

Was like watching somebody get washed out to sea, only they're sitting right there in bed.  A wave comes, takes them a little away.  Another wave comes, takes them a little away.  Every wave is a day.  Little by little, off they-- off they go.  Can I tell you something?  

NATE

Sure.

BRENDA

I don't want to put you in a weird position.

NATE

I'm already in a weird position. I live my whole life in a weird position.

BRENDA

I missed you. Through this.  

NATE

I missed you too. I mean, it's not like I don't know how much being with you changed me.  How much you woke me up as a person. I wouldn't be who I am today if I'd never met you. I certainly wouldn't floss every day, that's for sure.

BRENDA

You've been keeping up with that?

NATE

After every meal.  

Brenda inhales, long sigh.

BRENDA

You changed me too.  

NATE

Yeah, how so?

BRENDA

You're the first person I've lost, where it really cost me something.  That's why I haven't been with anyone since.

NATE

No one?

BRENDA

It's too scary, that I'll go screwing it all up again.

NATE

Yeah, you'll find somebody.

BRENDA

That is so not the answer. You know what I think?

NATE

About what?

BRENDA

I don't know, about life.

NATE

What?

BRENDA

I think it's all about timing. I think timing is everything.

NATE

I think you might be right.

Like Brenda I believe timing is everything. However, I’m not going to write about my ex-boyfriend at this point. That’s just too fucking much for me emotionally right now. Like I said, I’m exhausted. But I am going to write about the device of the ticking clock.

I participated in the 2013 Knoxville 24 Hour Film Festival short film competition this weekend. The goal of the competition is to create a 4 minute film from concept to completion in 24 hours. It must be written, shot, edited, and turned in 24 hours from the announced time. To keep the 30 registered teams honest, a series of elements are required in the submitted films. This year the organizers went out of their way to insure that there was nothing shady with any of the registered teams' films. There was some issue with one of the films from last year and whether or not any of the footage was pre-recorded. Because of that, this year’s elements read like an instruction manual written by Doctor Seuss. 

First rule was that we had to slate every single location we shot with a special graphic supplied by the contest organizers the day of the contest. The second factor was that there had to be several elements included in the films. This year all of the elements had to occur at certain points in the film. Each year there is a required character, line of dialogue, and visual image. This year the character was a bounty hunter who had to appear by a large natural body of water within the first 30 seconds of the film. The line of dialogue “So there I was, minding my own business...” had to happen 30 seconds before the final element, which was the same bounty hunter somehow interacting with fire.

I really disliked needing to use the bounty hunter character. I was fine with the rest of it, but that freaking bounty hunter made me cringe. Immediately I knew that my bounty hunter was NOT going to be male. I hate stereotypes, and I was annoyed that my only concept of a bounty hunter is Dog the Bounty Hunter. That is just not me and never will be. 

I don’t want to reveal too much about my short for the festival, except to say that with about 24 more hours it could have been brilliant. As it is, I like it. It is very personal to me. I think I know how people will respond to it. But, most of all, it is an entire 180 degrees from what I did last year. Last year I turned in a very stagey short comedy about a plus size woman who talks her older homosexual male friend into having a baby with her. The screenplay was one of the three nominees for best story/screenplay. I didn’t win, but considering it was the very first film I ever produced, I was thrilled to be nominated. 

It is baffling to me to think that I have only been making films for a year. Each experience has been more interesting, educational, and rewarding than the last. I went from being nominated to producing a film that won a best supporting actor award, to doing a fake exploitation film trailer that won me an award for best performance, and finally the last film I produced won best cinematography and was one of the five films nominated for best film at the Fifty-four Film Festival. I feel that is a good first year for any filmmaker. But that being said, I did feel some pressure to produce something sensational for this year’s 24 Hour Film Festival. Ten minutes into the competition, I let go of that need. I think part of what makes me appealing to the people who like my work is that I’m not trying to really please anyone. Yeah, I want people to appreciate it for its value, but I’m not going to let go of what is innately me in the process. 

Honestly, I had not planned on doing this festival this year. It has been a long, exhausting year of filmmaking for me. I was ready for a break. But I decided to put my hat in the race when I heard there were only 3 or 4 female-led teams out of the 30 teams, and my experience with this festival is that the films are very... male-centric. (That is the most polite way to put it.) In 2011, the first year I attended the festival, after viewing all the entries I nicknamed it the 2011 Knoxville 24 Hour Kill a Bitch Film Festival. I may be wrong, but I seem to recall all but one of the films featuring the murder of a female character. To be fair, it wasn’t the murder or violence that bothered me. Hell, I love a good violent story. Rather, it was these filmmakers’ need to kill a female character in order to propel the male characters through their stories. Each murder really had nothing to do with the person being murdered. The murder of such a character is just a device to emotionally manipulate/motivate one or more male characters into action.  In my opinion, that’s just weak-ass writing. (But what do I know? I just teach writing for a living.)

This being said, I love this festival. I love its organizers. I appreciate the opportunities it provides for people like myself who are emerging in the film world and need an audience to test our work. And the organizers have, over the last couple of years, made an effort to be more inclusive of female filmmakers. Last year the festival had 7 teams that were led by women. It was a good thing. It gave the festival an injection of feminine perspective. It also encouraged me to begin the group Wifi:Knoxville (Women in the Film Industry: Knoxville). The group now has nearly 300 members. 

This year on June 10 Wifi:Knoxville is co-hosting a panel of female and female-friendly filmmakers to speak during the festival. In my opinion this is incredible progress, and what pushed me into doing the festival this year. And if you live in East Tennessee, and especially if you are a woman interested in making or participating in film, come out June 15 to the Bijou Theatre for the 2013 Knoxville 24 Hour Film Festival and enjoy some short films produced by local talent.  There is a lot of talent in this community and there will be some interesting work on display.